The Cereal Quest: Day 31 – Introducing Jordans



For the last few days my daughter has been feeling pretty ill, yesterday I prayed saying I would prefer to be ill than her, especially over Christmas.  Well this morning I had answered prayer, I felt horrible, shivery, hot then cold, my mouth tasted like I had been licking the inside of my cars wheel arches.  This was not a great way to start with my new cereal, however my daughter seemed a lot better, thank you God.

I didn’t feel like food but as they say ‘The Cereal Quest must go on’.  One thing is for sure when I am poorly I want a breakfast that will wake up my taste buds, kick them in to gear, I definitely did not want to read “Baked Oat Clusters” on the box, about as appealing as chewing a cupboard.  BUT the difference with these is that they come with ‘tangy freeze dried raspberries’, I can’t lie, the baked oat clusters, this morning at least, were not very exciting, but the occasional sweet and sour raspberries were like a taste sensation.  So my first ever experience of a Jordans Cereal in Jordans Country Crisp with Tangy Raspberries has been so far so good.

Any side effects were hard to notice as I spent most of the day in bed shivering, but it is Christmas Eve Eve and I am hopeful that by Christmas Day I will be able to give a not manky mouth taste assessment.

Until tomorrow!


The Cereal Quest: Day 30 – Indecisive Incident and New Pie Chart!

Today was the end of my Sugar Puffs segment of the quest, at least for the original variety and might I say what an example to all they are, it must be tough being a one product brand amongst the big hitters like Kelloggs and Nestle but they have kept Sugar Puffs and the Honey Monster going for decades. This mornings serving was another good size portion of these jacketed sugared puffs and I have been amazed that I have managed to get 6 portions out of this relatively small 320g box, its not the 10 portions they advertise but it is not bad at all, today I have received suggestions and tips on how to counteract the wee issue, I can confirm that at 2.46pm this afternoon the received theory was disproved, the theory being if I didn’t go to the loo for a long period of time after eating them it wouldn’t smell of Sugar Puffs, unfortunately for this helpful wise theorist it would appear the smell stores itself until release.  But as I have stated previously I don’t mind the smell and find it fun, just not before breakfast.

Here are Sugar Puffs vital statistics:

Cereal Cost:  £1.00 (this was not advertised as a special offer)
Real Servings per Box: 6
Cost per Serving: 16.6p
Pros – Sweet, great mascot, helpful staff and nice milk flavouring ability, can give an aroma to your wee.  Could also be used as fillings for bean bags.  Cheapest Cost per serving thus far.
Cons – Prone to absorbing too much milk, wee aroma can be stored overnight.  A cult character in the Honey Monster but there is only 3% honey, he may as well be called ‘Riboflavin Monster’.

At this 30 day mark I have done a pie chart to help analyse the story so far;

Of course as one door closes, another door opens, the door to be opened was my front door, despite being told by on the news that if your journey is ‘not essential’ do not travel due to the extensive flooding I went, I headed out.  My journey was essential, I had a quest to continue and perhaps more importantly my wife wanted eggs.  If there is anyone up in space at the moment and they focussed down on earth, then zoomed in on the UK, then zoomed in on Hampshire, then Fordingbridge, then the cereal aisle in the Co-op this afternoon they would have enjoyed watching me for 10 minutes pacing up and down trying to choose a cereal, then choosing one, walking off to get eggs, then returning to the cereal aisle after realising the cereal I had picked off contained pre-packed sachets (don’t tell me how big my portion should be Dorset Cereals!), I then picked up something I have never had before in my life, the first entry by Jordans in to the cereal quest, to be revealed tomorrow.  At the checkout there appeared to be some Scouts offering to pack my bags for me, as it is nearly Christmas I let him (I assumed it was some part of their training to get a ‘bag packing’ badge or similar award), I said thank you (despite the fact that he hadn’t considered the fact that positioning the eggs in the bag where he did left them vulnerable to injury during a journey in normal weather let alone floods) and went home.

Until the morrow!

The Cereal Quest: Day 29 – Fortune Does Not Favour the Brave

Today was one of the best days on the calendar, the last day of work before Christmas for many, lots of people listening to or singing ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ on their journey back from work and happiness all around. It was very good for me, I got to leave work just after work and better still I had 2 bowls of Sugar Puffs, 1 for breakfast and 1 for lunch. I know what you are thinking and yes, it smells pungent. It was a brave move , I know how 1 portion of Sugar Puffs effects me, let alone 2.

In the evening I met up with two of my best friends, we went out to play snooker or at least try to. We were walking there when a fairly young scruffy looking man around 25-30 years old who popped out from near a church, he stopped us and explained to us he was homeless, he was cold, he was thirsty, he explained that he needed to pay to stay in the homeless shelter tonight (something I previously assumed would be free), he seemed very genuine and he had just reached a tricky point in his life, I gave him enough for a bed for the night and told him to buy a coffee (in hindsight this man needed sleep and caffeine was not the best suggestion) with the rest of it. He was very grateful, we wished each other a Merry Christmas and went our separate ways. I turned to speak to my friends, but they were out of sight, about 100m up the road, nearly at the snooker club. I caught them up and asked them why they had walked off. “He could have had a knife!” they said, which brings up two issues, 1. How hard must it be for homeless people to get help if everyone thinks they are going to get attacked and 2. Why if my friends thought he may have a knife did they leg it and leave me on my own? To watch me get knifed from a distance? Thank you ‘friends’.
I thought to myself as we set up to play snooker, fortune favours the brave and these two are wimps, I’ve got this sewn up. Turns out I was wrong. Fortune favours the wimpish, little, snooker playing, own cue bringing, expensive drink buying people. To top it all off, if after losing to these people I had my downward stair walking technique questioned, apparently having my feet at 45 degree angles to ensure a maximum foot surface area to step ratio is foolish. Surely I am not the only person that does this without realising?

I have thought of a youth group game involving Sugar Puffs and two teams trying to stick as many to one lucky players face, due to their stickiness and light weight I think it may work!

The Cereal Quest: Day 28 – Fun and Games with Sugar Puffs

Today started with confusion as to who or what pressed snooze on my alarm 7 times.  After that infusion I went to the loo and can confirm no Sugar Puff odour.  I went downstairs and could chomp down another bowl of those sweet Sugar Puffs.  They were good they tasted good and I think I got the milk to Sugar Puffs ratios right, barely any lost out to the milky tide today.  At work I made a call to Sugar Puffs, I wanted to solve the mystery of why Sugar Puffs make your wee smell, I spoke to a wonderfully helpful young lady who unfortunately couldn’t give me the answer straight away, she did however inform me of other varieties of Sugar Puffs their are, I had no idea their were 7, and more impressively they have a seasonal range, some that come out in summer (Party Puffs), some that come out at winter (Snowy Puffs, which sound amazing and come with with bits of meringue!), they also do Honeycomb Sugar Puffs, Honey Waffles, Choco Waffles, Choco Puffs and the slightly less exciting sounding Puffed Wheat, which I guarantee when I try I put sugar on!  All this information adds excitement and about another month on to my quest!  The question that jumps to my mind straight away is… ‘Choco Puffs’ make your wee smell of chocolate?  Time will tell.  The kind young lady told me she would call me back with the answer to my question and true to her word she did call me back, she told me that the Honey Monster suggests I checked out his Facebook page as I would find the answer on there.

Sugar Puffs or Honey Monster Foods have been really helpful, much like Weetabix, although I did see something on Twitter that made me think that despite the fact Weetabix were helpful they may also think that everyone in the world is thick:

I’m not sure that ‘recipe’ is going to be too challenge.

Anyway after work of course I jumped straight on to the Honey Monster Facebook page, I ‘Liked’ him (both genuinely and on Facebook) because I wanted to find the answer and let the search begin.  Surprisingly for a big yellow man who surely must struggle with dexterity in his fingers he is a serial (excuse the pun) Facebooker, there was loads to trawl through, lots of competitions and updates which I think is a good thing especially as nowadays it is rare to find fun things to do on the back of cereal packets like when the Coco Pops monkey would have a maze/wordsearch or something to do on there, well the Honey Monster has stepped up to the plate, even on my pack there are 3 different things to do.  To complete the comeback of things I would like to happen to packaging I would like it if instant wins like in crisps (£5 in a pack of Walkers Cheese and Onion once!) came back rather than ‘text to enter’ rubbish.  But that is a different quest, we are not talking crisps, we are trying to find out why when you eat Sugar Puffs your wee smells of Sugar Puffs and I can reveal that after an extensive search, including using the find feature on my browser for words such as ‘wee’ and ‘smell’ that the answer was…….no where to be found, at least not by me, it may be there but I can’t see it (which by the way is something my wife hates me saying when she asks me to get things out of cupboards).  Tomorrow I will contact Honey Monster HQ again, I WILL find the answer.

Until tomorrow…


The Cereal Quest: Day 27 – A Wee Problem with Sugar Puffs

This morning was different for a weekday, yesterday I got told I could have today off as a Christmas treat, so I had a bit of a lie in until just after 8am, on a Wednesday, what a treat. I got up and like most people the first thing I did was pop to the loo for a wee.  It wasn’t as cold as it has been recently but was cold enough for what I refer to as ‘wee steam’ to be generated (when the temperature of the wee is so hot in comparison with the air temperature it creates a steamy wee cloud).  Now this happens, its a fact of life, except last night as you may have read I started my Sugar Puffs, this meant that my wee steam was flavoured, the hot steams aroma smelt strongly of Sugar Puffs, ordinarily I can deal with this, indeed in public or work toilets during the middle of the day leaving a slight smell of Sugar Puffs can be fun and intriguing for the next entrant, (I always use a cubicle, I’m not a big fan of urinals since a heavily bearded man in Yeovil Town FC’s away end toilets manage to ricochet his rancid beer laced urine in to my innocent left eye whilst he was blatently trying to draw a face on the stainless steel wall with his own wee) I imagine, and thus rewarding for me, however on this occasion the Sugar Puff aroma was not a positive.  I went downstairs to have my breakfast whilst watching BBC News and seeing the female presenter dressed as a Christmas tree decoration, the major problem was that my cereal now smelt of my wee.  I am fine with wee smelling of Sugar Puffs but not vice versa.  Each time I put the spoon near my mouth I could smell my wee from 5 minutes ago.  This is what I call ‘bad’ or ‘not very nice’.  I have learnt a lesson today, do NOT have Sugar Puffs in the evening if you plan on having them in the morning.  Tomorrow I plan on phoning the good people at Sugar Puffs to enquire about the reasons for the smelly wee.  We shall see what happens maybe they can give me some tips.

The Cereal Quest: Day 26 – The World is Going Mad!

This morning saw an end to the Curiously Cinnamon section of my quest and might I say, what a wonderful delight they were.  They are quite a simple product, just a simple whole grain square with some sugar and cinnamon sprinkled on it but it really is a brilliant change to the normal cereals that are out there.  They were delightful and I am grateful for the help and support of Curiously Cinnamon themselves.  I know they do Curiously Strawberry which I will encounter further on in my quest, I look forward to seeing how they live up to these.  Strangely for such a small box you get a good amount of servings in comparison to say Froot Loops (avoid avoid avoid) and Kelloggs Chocolate Cornflakes.  One strange thing I noticed was there was no dusty goodness that you usually get with cereals at the bottom of the bag, I was expecting a nice load of intense cinnamon flavours to sprinkle over the cereal but there was none, the glue that holds the cinnamon to the squares has done a good job.   If I had to sum up Curiously Cinnamon in a two words I would say ‘Intensely Delightful’.

Here are its vital statistics:

Cereal Cost:  £2.29
Real Servings per Box: 6
Cost per Serving: 38p
Pros – Refreshing, bold flavour, stands up to milk well, brilliantly versatile as party snacks.
Cons – None I can think of.

Tonight my wife was at college (panic not, she is not 16 she is doing an evening course) so I couldn’t be bothered to cook, which of course meant it was time to start my next cereal…..Sugar Puffs!  I have had Sugar Puffs plenty of times before but to analyse them will mean more than just saying that they make your wee smell of Sugar Puffs (although that is very much the case).  My first bowl was good, they do struggle a bit with milk, they start melting in to mush if you give them to much time so I was a little rushed.  Something I noticed was that despite their famous hero the Honey Monster the cereal only contains 3% honey, I will be bringing this up with them.  Saying that the world is losing it and there are worse things in the world, like the fact that manufacturers of presents I have bought people are starting to write instructions in text speak (or spk) like this:

Unbelievable, although saying ‘please’ is a rare bit of politeness in operational instructions, usually they speak to you like you are an invalid.

Until tomorrow.

The Cereal Quest: Day 25 – What a Day Full of Fun and Curiously Cinnamon!

Well, another day down another wonderful bowl of Curiously Cinnamon, starting to want a change but I think that’s natural.  I’m still really enjoying it but I just fancy something that keeps me full up for longer.  I didn’t have my cereal in the morning which left me a bit grouchy first thing, unfortunately this brought on my slightly sarcastic side.  I work doing a lot of online sales on Amazon and eBay, business is great but at this time of year you find you get a whole load of absolute idiots emailing you stupid questions, not village idiot style idiot, I mean the type of person who has thought to email you questions like “please can you send my order to my address”, or “do you know what day my order would turn up if I order today?” and if I had a pound for every person in the last week who has asked me “will my order will be delivered in time for Christmas ?” I would have £136.75.  Suffice to say some of those people may not want to email me again.

I popped to Tesco at lunch to by nappies and nappy bags and to forget to buy one of my bosses some Lemon Fools.  On the way out I was just leaving the shop and a young skinny lad in front of me started to leg it, he bolted, 2 security guards went after him, they were not very fast, imagine if you will Theo Walcott stealing Arsene Wenger’s toupé, running and then Arsene and Pat Rice trying to chase across a crowded, rainy Tesco car park.  I did what any man would have done, I watched.  The guy in the grey was pretty much in the clear but then a young man in a hi-vis jacket who was pushing approximately 27 shopping trolleys in to a space that didn’t look like it could store more than 20 shopping trolleys spotted what was happening, this was his moment, in his head he could hear the song from Chariots of Fire, he could probably foresee his name on the front page of the local newspaper, this would definitely get him a girlfriend, this was his moment, he went after him like a disobedient jack russell chasing a 3 legged rabbit.  The shoplifter thought he was away, you could tell, he was slowing, the 2 ‘security guards’ stopped running, then he turned to see this trolley boy sprinting like his life depended on it, classic running techniques, high knees, big strides (cheers Linford), and he was gaining, he got to the corner of the car park and dashed out of sight towards where I work.  I got in my car, the chase was on, well at least until I got round the corner, I lost them, the Zafira is many things but a car suitable for chases it is not, who knows if the trolley boy caught him, I’ll check the paper to see tomorrow.

When I got home I had my Curiously Cinnamon, I have it in the evenings most Mondays as I play football so a bowl of cereal is just enough that it doesn’t give me stitch but does give me energy, tonight Curiously Cinnamon did good, I really enjoyed the game and got stuck in where possible, we drew 4-4 but it was a great game, I had plenty of energy and that can only have been because of those Cinnamon Scrabble tiles.  I am yet to find a fault with Curiously Cinnamon (besides the name which makes little sense), I have one bowlful left.

Until tomorrow!

The Cereal Quest: Day 23 – Cinnamon Happiness!

Today started joyously, my wife awoke and said to me that she had a weird dream in the night, in her dream she had been to see “Neighbours: The Musical”.  What a thought, how great would it be! Characters like Paul Robinson who has a wooden leg yet can pull any woman on Ramsey Street and of course the legend Karl Kennedy who is the most flexible doctor out there, no matter if someone is giving birth, been in a car crash, been in a fire, drowned, cut their finger, he is the man to sort them out in the same room on the same ward, would work perfectly as a musical, unfortunately I then came out of this dream world and realised that the musical did not exist.  But as the song goes, happiness was just round the corner, in this case, the form of said happiness was some more beautiful Curiously Cinnamon.

As you can see from the photo they get loads of beautiful flavour on the cinnamon scrabble tiles by sprinkling it all over the curly indentations.

You may or may not be wondering about the effects of these cherubs on my stomach, well I am pleased to say they have been great, no issues at all even today when we were driving home and my daughter was sat in the back behind me with her seat reclined sleeping I had to have mine as far forward as possible, my knees could put the windows up and down and I was sat intimately close to the glove box, my body was cramped up but my stomach was fine.  On a side note on the way home I saw an advert for a nativity play with a great typo, “Voice of the Angle”, Pythagorus would have loved it.

Things are good, Bournemouth won again today, unbeaten in 13, since starting the cereal quest still no defeats for the Cherries!

The Cereal Quest: Day 22 – Taking the Strain

I am still loving the Curiously Cinnammon. Although they are very thin they still hold quite a good crunch when under strain from milk.

Following my comments yesterday about them being a great snack dry without milk I have seen they sell them as ‘Grab2Go’ bags, great minds think alike although you get a better deal if you just pour some from the box in to a pot each day.

For those of you creative enough I have also found a fun recipe for them here. Of course to keep to the quest I can’t go making recipes with these, I have to work out important figures, and unlike the governments they can’t be massaged. I take this role seriously.

Another brief observation I have made is the Curiously Cinnammon slogan “Crave those crazy squares”, unfortunately for Nestlé it sounds like description of a rival Kellogg’s cereal.
They must be annoyed at this, it confuses me that they didn’t think this through in the same way Cadburys didn’t suspect “TAKE IT easy, with Cadburys Caramel would encourage 11 year old shoplifters.