The Cereal Quest: Day 59 – Missing the Obvious

I think I have made a mistake with Nestle Coco Orange Shreddies, I am learning to like them.  I didn’t realise this at breakfast, or even soon after breakfast.  I realised it tonight.  I realised it completely by accident.  My sister came round this evening and we went and got fish and chips, she drove and it was the first time I had ever been in the car with her driving, to be honest it might be the last, at one point in a car park she missed a turning and started heading towards the wall of a library, I physically grabbed the steering wheel and started turning it to avoid the fairly large library, she said she can’t talk and drive at the same time (or see apparently).  We got home safely (somehow) and after eating a nice portion of chips I fancied something sweet, I found a giant tube of Smarties (thank you Christmas), I poured some out and of course plunged for the best Smartie, the orange one.  I realised immediately that this was the exact taste of the Coco Orange Shreddies, so why do I love chocolate orange Smarties but not chocolate orange Shreddies?  Simple, the time of day.

I have usually been awake about 5 minutes when I eat them, my mouth, intact all of me is still in a different world (like the man in charge of the music in Pizza Hut yesterday who was pumping out the theme for 90s TV programme Blind Date).  Tomorrow I am going to try and give my body time to feel fresh to see if I enjoy the intense taste more.  Maybe, just maybe it will help.

The Cereal Quest: Day 58 – Strange Shreddies Coincidence

This mornings bowl of Nestle Coco Orange Shreddies was nicer than yesterdays, I think initially they were a shock to the system, a taste explosion, they really are immensely chocolatey.  This morning I realised this, I tried to focus on the chocolate more than the orange, mind over matter and the matter was Coco Orange Shreddies.  One of the things I really like about these is that compared to normal Shreddies they are a lot more hardcore in the milk battle, the extra covering of chocolate creates a barrier and where as the normal Shreddies shrivel up pretty much on impact these battle against the tide heroicly.

When I started the cereal quest one of the things I was looking forward to was analysing whether Shreddies really did “keep hunger locked up til lunch”, this is the sort of test I could analyse perfectly.  Sometimes in life you get things and think “wow what a coincidence!”, maybe you wake up a second before your alarm goes off, maybe a football team only wins when you are at the stadium, that would be a funny coincidence.  Unbelievably it would seem I have a particularly strange minded family, and in an amazing coincidence it would seem that previous to my quest one of my brothers had also tried testing this and had the results.  He had previously written the following to Nestlé:

“Dear Shreddies,

Having carried out some research (spreadsheet below) I have concluded that Shreddies at no point kept hunger ‘locked up til lunch’. I suggest a more suitable slogan would be “Shreddies: Keeps hunger locked up til brunch”.  Although it compared favourably to some cereals, notably Weetos, it didn’t have a patch on others like Tesco’s version of Fruit and Fibre.













Best regards,
Kevin Botto”

He got the following reply:


My immediate thought is probably the same as yours, What does Isabelle Burn? I don’t know what this mini cereal quest of my brother’s says about me and my family, I imagine only complimentary things.

I know what you are thinking and your are right he isn’t going to spoil my fun, he never tested ‘Coco Orange Shreddies’, so in answer to your questions, yesterday 11:15am, today 10:47am.



The Cereal Quest: Day 57 – Another New Beginning

This morning was yet another new beginning on my quest.  Today it was time for another ‘Limited Edition’ cereal to try out, it was time for Nestle Coco Orange Shreddies.  I was looking forward to these, I like Shreddies, I like Chocolate, I like Terry’s Chocolate Oranges, so this was bound to be a success. I poured on the milk and sat down to enjoy whilst watching a lady on the local BBC news bulletin tried her best to pretend she was remotely interested in a ‘news’ story about some birds nesting on top of a police station in Winchester.

What was to follow was a mild state of confusion, I ate them, I should have enjoyed them but spent the whole time trying to work out what was wrong.  The flavour was bold, it was intense, it should work, really it should, but for me, at least today, it didn’t.  Perhaps it is the same failing as Froot Loops, citrus and milk doesn’t work, it curdles so the flavours made my tongue confused perhaps.  This is just day one, they may improve but I can’t imagine they will be anything more than ‘limited edition’.  I would imagine when my daughter grows up and I am trying to explain them to her she will look at me blankly in the same way she will look at me when I explain that when I was younger we had an ‘indoor’ TV aerial and if you moved your foot near the TV it screwed up the picture.

On a complete side note, I put my daughter to bed tonight, went downstairs and started washing up.  I found a half opened bottle of Blackcurrant Lucozade in the fridge, I opened it, poured the contents down the sink and half screwed the lid back on ready to put it in the recycling, as I continued to wash up I suddenly heard the fire alarm, I panicked, I was scared, my daughter was upstairs, where on earth was this fire coming from, I ran out the kitchen and leapt over the stair gate to check upstairs, as I got upstairs I could barely hear the alarm.  I came back downstairs and it was loud again, I then realised my alarm didn’t even sound like that, I put my head at a 90 degree angle as I naturally figured that would increase the ability of my ears to try and locate the alarm noise, I was like a Springer Spaniel trying to sniff out a rabbit, except using ears.  I headed back to the kitchen (head still sideways) I found the noise.  It was air escaping from the Lucozade bottle creating an incredibly uncanny alarm noise.  I was furious with it, I hurled it at the bubbly washing up water (because that took my anger out on it) unfortunately that caused a massive splash all over my window.  Lesson learned.

The Cereal Quest: Day 56 – Good Shift for Cookie Crisp

In a rare treat today and in a reminiscent act me and a good friend got WWF (don’t tell me its called WWE, it will always be WWF) Royal Rumble on Pay Per View as I saw an advert saying that ‘The Rock’ was back.  I got up and arrived at his at 5am, of course, I arrived at his door with my box of Nestle Cookie Crisp in hand and once my body had woken (2 hours) I sat and enjoyed my breakfast whilst The Rock ‘laid the Smackdown’.  As I sat their eating it my good friend enquired in a tired but inquisitive tone “are you eating cookies for breakfast?”.  I educated him and we moved on, as stated he is a good friend, however clearly has not been following my cereal quest, particularly days 52 to 55.

After a long day at work I was ready for football, I knew I had to see if Cookie Crisp helped my game:











As we picked teams (because we are mostly big kids) I looked around, we were going to get battered, teams were looking fairly tough, to the point that a member of the opposition even said “let us know if and when you want to change the teams”, that was the team talk written for us, if we had of had a changing room or indeed tactics that sentence would have been on the wall.  Incredibly we won the game by a couple of goals, I scored a couple of goals and I went off thinking that Cookie Crisp must be a great pre-match substance.  But it dawned on me, in all honesty it must just be a mixture of natural ability and a great set of team mates.  I’m not sure how much effect Cookie Crisp had but I’m sure it helped the energy levels.

That was my last serving of Nestle Cookie Crisp, to sum up quickly.  I was shocked and surprised that they were not actually cookies, but in hindsight Girl Guide Cookies don’t contain Girl Guides and King Size Mars Bars are not the actual size of a King so maybe I have to stop taking everything so literally.  The taste of Cookie Crisp is a slightly less chocolatey slightly more salty flatter Nesquik cereal.  Would I recommend them?  Yes, I couldn’t have them every day for the rest of my life but as an occasional treat they are delicious.  Here is all you need to know about for my Nestle Cookie Crisp Review:

Cereal Cost:  £2.29.
Real Servings per Box: 6 (not 12 but nice try Nestle)
Cost per Serving: 38p
Pros – Fairly cheap for a sweet treat, fun design, uniform in look, tasty, not scared of milk.
Cons – Not biscuitty, could be more chocolatey.

On a side note I have also discovered that the term ‘cookie crisp’ can be used to describe the following:

“A type of wedgie where you shove a cookie down the back of someone’s underwear and when you pull them up the cookie breaks in half and all the crumbs go down the victim’s underwear”

I do not want this Cookie Crisp, as an occasional treat or otherwise.


The Cereal Quest: Day 55 – Perform a U-Turn When Possible

Nestle have given me nothing but happiness these past few days with Cookie Crisp.  When I got up this morning I even took a fun macro shot of their cereal:








However after my photography and when putting away the cereal in the top cupboard the box slipped from my hand, the corner of the box was hurtling towards my right eye socket at what at the time seemed like a very dangerous speed, luckily for me I have the reflexes of a cat, and caught it, I looked around like someone in the crowd at the cricket does when they catch a ball regardless of how many pensioners or kids they have shoved out the way to grasp it, no one saw the catch.  It was then I noticed out the corner of my eye.  The following sentence – “This box contains a minimum of 12 servings”.  Oh Nestle, Nestle, Nestle.  You were doing so well.  A lot of things have surprised me this weekend, I saw someone eating fruit strudel out of a small plastic cup, I saw my daughter stand up by herself for the first time, I saw me make a bed, but if someone can get 12 servings of Cookie Crisp large enough for an actual human to eat and keep hunger away until lunch I will be absolutely stunned.  Don’t get me wrong the bowl of cereal I ate was delicious, to quote many a woman, I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed in you.


The Cereal Quest: Day 54 – Busy Busy Busy

Today after a lovely Saturday lie in (thank you Mrs B) I got up and grabbed another delicious bowl of Nestle Cookie Crisp.  The timing of them has been great, they really have filled the hole I had made for tasty flavoursome energy boosting cereal.  I knew I had a fairly busy day today so I wondered how much energy they would give me, I set out and looked for a new car (by new I mean old), no problem, still full of energy, went to in laws to watch the Bournemouth score come in (we won), no problem still got energy in spades.  Went to a planning meeting for a festival, no problem I still have energy.  Had my first go at ‘Gangnam Style’ on Just Dance 4 for the Wii.  Feel like death.  I never have been and never will be able to dance, as proved by this. It would appear that tomorrow I will need a bigger bowlful of Cookie Crisp to see me through.  I will report.

The Cereal Quest: Day 53 – Getting Better and Better

Today I got in to work early so took my cereal (Nestle Cookie Crisp) in with me in my multifunction plastic cereal bowl.  I sat and enjoyed it, more than yesterday.  Yesterday I was too much thinking about why they were not actual cookies to enjoy it.

Much like mushrooms during the 90s these are seemingly an acquired taste and one I am acquiring a lot faster.  They stay crisp for 95% of the bowl!  I’m looking forward to tomorrows already!

The Cereal Quest: Day 52 – Cooooookie Crisp!

After Quaker Oat Crisp I was well and truly ready for something new.  Something exciting, something I had never tried before.  Cookie Crisp is to me what the internet is to my Mum, I only really heard of it last year.  I noticed them on the shelf but they never really managed to pull me away from my old favourites.  Of course this is the joy of the cereal quest, trying new things.  I had assumed that they were essentially going to be like those little bags of McVities Cookies that rich people at school used to have in their lunch box and the rest of us only had in our lunch box when they were on offer in Safeway’s.  I was surprised and impressed about the uniformity of the ‘cookies’ once I had poured them in to the bowl:


They had a surprising gloss to them with sporadically placed chocolate dots, like a cookie.  I thought they would be more biscuitty than cereal but they weren’t.  They were yummy, they were always going to taste good, I have just had an excruciating 6 days of Oat Crisp.  You always imagine what something will taste like before you eat it, and when they are made to look like something, you imagine they will taste like that something (with the exception of Haribo Eggs).  They don’t taste massively like cookies, they are like a weaker flavoured flatter more disc shaped Nesquik cereal with a couple of chocolate dots.  But I can happily say that after day one of Nestle Cookie Crisp I am enjoying them!

Nestle Cookie Crisp Review

The Cereal Quest: Day 51 – Bye Bye You Sarcastic Old Man

Luckily for me today was the last day Oat Crisp.  We had got off on the right foot and things started off swimmingly but my body seemed to start rejecting them near the end. Today I knew I only had one portion left so I thought I would try giving them some flavour and grabbed a box of my daughters raisins.










The raisins added zero flavour, absolutely none, yet again I found myself trying to eat something that my body was refusing, my face resembled that of my daughters when I introduced her to twiglets.

twiglets doneSadly I had to leave a large amount of them again, if I could sum up Oat Crisp in a sentence it would be.  Start great but they just keep pumping boredom in to your mouth.

Cereal Cost:  £1.99.
Real Servings per Box: 6
Cost per Serving: 33p
Pros – Cheap, good if dieting.
Cons – Dull, very very dull. Go soggy really quick.  The man who we have known and loved form Quaker with his long white hair and comic hat is a sarcastic unhelpful little old man.

Tomorrow I am guaranteed flavour and I can not wait.


The Cereal Quest: Day 50 – The Half Century Wall

Happy 50 Day Anniversary to Me!

Today I was excited, I started the day with a spring in my step and I needed it as yesterday my daughter learnt how to climb stairs so after clapping her for being so clever and encouraging her to show me when I got home from work we quickly confused her by putting up the worlds most fiddly stair gates.  Which are a pain to open so hurdling seems easier.   “Installation should take 5 minutes”, incorrect, it takes an hour for me and I consider (and have been called nothing more than) an average man.

So after hurdling the stair gate I poured another juicy bowl of Quaker Oat Crisp.  I got about half way through it and hit a wall.  I simply could not eat another bite, it is so bland, I do not understand, I was so sure I remembered it tasting nicer.  Perhaps Quaker would get back to me in reply to my letter with some serving suggestions.

It was early morning at work when my phone lit up, a new message from Quaker Oats UK. Thank goodness, they will know how to spice this cereal up, after all who can forget that when I wrote to Weetabix for serving suggestions they gave me this Great ways to enjoy Weetabix, over 30 ways to enjoy their cereal!  I was excited, I opened it up……


Are they having a laugh!?!? What do they think I have been doing for the past few days?!? “Hi Phil, we recommend serving your Oat Crisp in a bowl of cold milk….”.  Really?!?  Great idea because I had been serving them in a bowl with ‘Mr. Muscle Kitchen Multi Task’ and it just wasn’t working for me!!! Idiots. Its like walking in to a shoe shop and buying some shoes and the shopkeeper then turned around and said “you know what, I think they would look good worn on feet”.  Fools.

What adds to my annoyance is that they completely ignore my question about the maltiness being missing from the flavour.  Well Quaker UK, I have done my own research.  I have dug out the archives to find the truth.  Here is what I found, I was right.  Quaker Oat Crisp used to be called ‘Oat Crunchies’, they did contain more malt and they did have more flavour, but Quaker did not want to tell me this because fairly surprisingly they contained more salt per 50g than the sea:

Hopefully tomorrows bowl will be the last for Quaker for a while, I know I still have plenty more Quaker cereal to try and I will learn to forgive their sarcastic ways in time.  Tomorrow I will try a home made serving suggestion, a la me.