The Cereal Quest: Day 191 – Fat Tongue

This morning I woke up with a continuation of yesterday’s strange burning pain in my mouth and on my tongue. My tongue felt not only painful but it was now massive and hurt to talk, which for a man who talks as much as me is frustrating. The other issue was that I had a bowlful of juicy crunchy granola, eating it was extremely painful but I am literally a man on a mission so I knew I had to eat it. There was another burning issue, my throat and chest. Burning tingly pain, it was weird and frustrating.  Trying to chew on very crunchy granola when your tongue hurts is not fun, and nor is the burning feeling developing in my body but to be fair to Fuel Granola it tastes really good, for granola.  My day got a bit more interesting when I went in to Tesco at lunch time and was approached by a man who, for a brief moment I thought was stalking me, who said “excuse me sir, do you like breakfast cereals?”.  He was working for Jordans cereals who had a display unit/van thing set up to get people to try their products and talk about their products.  5 minutes later he massively regretted speaking to me, he had not prepared for my visit to Tesco’s, he was badly unprepared.

The Cereal Quest: Day 190 – Adding Fuel to the Fire

Well today is Monday and of course that means I have a mad busy day at work and football in the evening. What I didn’t need was to be faced with my last serving of Special K with Red Berries, what made them even worse was the slowness of the kettle boiling, I had foolishly put milk on my cereal before even boiling the kettle, thus producing very soggy Special K with Red Berries.  They tastes like eating freshly watered soil, I hated it.  Luckily it was the last bowl.  For ever hopefully.

Here are the vital statistics for Special K Red Berries:

Cereal Cost: £2.79
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 69.7p
Pros – Not many bowls.
Cons – Tastes horrible, far too many cranberries, far too little raspberries.

But as the Special K with Red Berries door closed another door opened.  And walking through that door was:










‘Fuel’ (My 10K Hours).  Yes my initial response was to question the fact that the bag is only 60% full and the bag was tiny to begin with but it tasted very nice, for a granola based product.  It is full of different fruits, I believe it is red currants debut in the quest and big apple bits and miscellaneous chewy bits.  It tasted quite nice, however I have had my most bizarre reaction to a cereal yet, I call it ‘fat tongue burn’.  Soon after consumption my tongue swelled up, felt bruised and my mouth and chest had a burning sensation, 9 hours later it is still the same.  This is very annoying and worrying and to top it all, ‘Fuel’ didn’t exactly produce my most energetic display at football tonight. Not my words, my team mates.


The Cereal Quest: Day 189 – Stuck in the Middle

Today was going to be a fun day, for starters I knew it was Touring Cars on TV, for seconds I had thought of a great fun new game to try at our youth group involving trying to pick up a progressively shorter cereal box using only their teeth and only allowing their feet to be touching the floor.  It proved to be an interesting game.  For that I was pleased.  One thing I wasn’t pleased about was having to have a 2nd bowl of Special K with Red Berries, they are not very nice and my body is not tolerating them very well.  The amount of cranberries does my head in, they are massive and not enjoyable and tasteless and to top it all off, they are more calorific than much nicer tasting cereals.  To try and get through the box faster I had another bowl after the youth group in the evening, I felt like I was attempting a bush tucker trial towards the end.

The Cereal Quest: Day 188 – Old Age Cereal

This morning I knew at least I had a new cereal to try, sadly it was another variation of Kellogg’s Special K, this time Special K Creamy with Berries.  The box specifies it contains cranberries and raspberries, unfortunately my bowl today only contained cranberries, this is unfortunate because I don’t like cranberries, these were massive cranberries at that, about the size of an olive.  They seemed to burst in to your mouth which isn’t the nicest taste or sensation.  The creaminess comes in the form of an amalgamated lump of bits which when chomped down on create a creamy dispersion of flavour.  These are the saving grace to Special K Creamy with Red Berries, how I cope with tomorrows bowl will be interesting as I am already not looking forward to them.


The Cereal Quest: Day 187 – Well That Was Fast

Well not the 10 bowls as advertised on the pack of Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds, 4 bowls down and they are done.  I am not sad, they don’t taste incredible and they have (as you may have guessed) frustrated me a little.  They are very ricey taste for a flaked cereal, not anything like the tangy aftertaste of corn flakes.  If you stick your tongue out and slap down on it with your index finger you will get a dull noise, that is not very exciting, now hold that excitement…….thats Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds.  I don’t understand the logic of someone who would choose to purchase them.

Here are the vital statistics for Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds:

Cereal Cost: £2.79
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 69.7p
Pros – Creamy.
Cons – Not a low fat diet cereal, barely tastes of anything.

The Cereal Quest: Day 186 – Speed is of the Essence

Today I was staring down the barrel of a 2 bowl Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds, and I can confirm, Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds tastes a whole lot worse when you are disappointed with it.  I wasn’t angry, I was disappointed.  Especially seeing as both bowls again today were very lacking in almonds.  The creaminess in the cereal it appears is given by miscellaneous grain like balls attached to the bundles of broken up hazelnut, they actually taste OK considering they are hazelnuts.  The flakes themselves today seemed to last less time, I think this is due to me today using semi-skimmed milk instead of the full cream milk I had used yesterday.  They do seem to keep you full up, there is that on their side but truly I can’t help the nagging in my head telling me they are more calorific than Lucky Charms.

The Cereal Quest: Day 185 – The Great Special K Scam

I’ve sat here in front of this screen before in disbelief in regards to various issues so far in the quest, horrendous taste, disgraceful mathematics and terrible claims of serving suggestions from cereal manufacturers.  Tonight however I come here more frustrated and more in need of people to see what I am writing than ever before, tonight I am writing something fundamentally interesting and insightful and that needs sharing.  Today I started Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds.  It was never going to set the world alight taste wise it has a dull rice flavour which gets a creamy addition in the form of two nuts, the hazelnuts (in cluster form) and almond (I do mean singular, there was one in my serving today).  It holds OK against milk but can go limp if left to long along side the lactose joy that  cows produce.  Now for my big irritation with this cereal.  Special K is targeted as a healthy diet cereal, a slimming aid almost, Kellogg’s have moved to enforce that by doing a whole range of adverts based around dropping a jean size and in addition have even set up ‘myspecialk’ diet planner.  With this in mind I sat down and read the side of the box, I then shook my head in a cartoon style and read it again, then I sat in shock and anger, what I am about to type is genuine, I have checked and double checked.  The well known ‘diet helping’ cereal Special K with Hazelnuts and Almonds has MORE calories, MORE fat and unbelievably MORE sugar than Lucky Charms, the cereal that (lets not forget) was banned from the UK for years because it was so unhealthy!  I do not appreciate overuse of the exclamation mark and I apologise to those offended but I had to use it there.  This is ridiculous.  How can Kellogg’s get away with claiming this as healthy.  I am going to find out.

The Cereal Quest: Day 184 – So Close, Yet So Far

With the expectation so high on Saturday I feel a bit low after todays 2 portions of Alpen Raspberry and Apple.  Yes both bowls tasted great, they really did but they didn’t excite me so much as they have done previously.  I just felt the shock factor was missing.  I took them in to work and had a 2nd bowl for lunch, this finished the box off before I really got a chance to get stuck in to it.  It also didn’t fill me with bundles of energy, at football I was lethargic, and some might even say I simply didn’t play to my natural high standards.  My touch was at best ‘leggy’ and I was disappointing.

Here are the Alpen Raspberry and Apple vital statistics:

Cereal Cost: £2.79
Real Servings per Box: 5
Cost per Serving: 55.8p
Pros – Really tasty, great texture, surely healthy.
Cons – Makes limbs lethargic.

The Cereal Quest: Day 183 – Hold Fire on That

Ah OK, I may have jumped the gun prematurely yesterday with my Alpen Raspberry and Apple Muesli excitement.  Today was Father’s Day which despite being a father I still find really hard after losing my father 3 years ago.  My wife and daughter try incredibly hard to keep me happy on Fathers Day and I love them very much for doing so, it would seem I get more cheerful towards the end of the day, which today coincided with getting a chinese.  Any way, the reason for my worry about Alpen Raspberry and Apple is I seem to be losing the ability to grip things with my hands (my main gripping device) I ate a bowl of muesli for lunch today as my lovely girls bought me croissants (pronounced ‘cwa-o-son’) and tea in bed this morning.  After lunch we went round my in laws, they have 3 new sofas, I sat down and was given a cup of tea and biscuit, within about 10 seconds and in my pre-dunk position my hands unclasped the biscuit which was hovering about 30cm above the cup like a toy being dropped by a grabber machine in the amusements, the biscuit plummeted in to the hot tea below creating a massive splash of tea being dispersed all over their new sofas, I also kept dropping things.  I will keep tabs on this.

The Cereal Quest: Day 182 – 3 Bowls and A New Contender!

Today was a fun day, when I woke up me and my wife spent about 20 minutes reminiscing about stalls we used to have at our schools when we were younger, this was not only because we are cool, but because we were going to our local village school fete today.

So after our fun chat we went down for breakfast, another bowl of Monster Cereal, the box of which had now begun to catch my daughters eye.  She liked even though she wasn’t born when Monsters Inc. came out.  Toddlers are clever.  She illustrated her cleverness by tricking me in to thinking she actually wanted to spend some quality time sat next to me when in fact she wanted some of my cereal, cereal that had been enhanced by some amazing Channel Island Milk from the milkman.  We then went out to the school fete with my wifes good friend and her extremely cute little boy, we had a great time and a delicious burger.  When we got back to our house Holly’s friend had to go and we did something I have not done for years, as they drove off we stood outside the front of our house waving until they had finally gone round the corner out of sight, I’m pretty sure this is what most people do when visiting grandparents, good times.

I hadn’t been properly filled up by the burger (although it was delicious) so I had my final bowl of Monster Cereal, again with Channel Island milk, it was a good bowl although I did cut my gum on one of the crunchy curls, sad to leave the cereal on a downer but the cereal has generally been enjoyable, in brief analysis I would compare it too birthday cards, they are nice but you could probably go through life without them and still be OK.

Here is my review for Monster Cereal vital statistics:

Cereal Cost: £2.00
Real Servings per Box: 6
Cost per Serving: 33.3p
Pros – Create a joyful chocolatey milk.
Cons – Need a bit more oomph, can cut your gums and cripple your colon.

Ordinarily 3 bowls of cereal on a Saturday would be an outrageous suggestion but today it seemed like a good idea, I had not had time to make dinner as (continuing my recent manliness following changing spark plugs) I was fitting a child bike seat to the back of my car, I cut my hand but it pretty much didn’t hurt at all, manly.  This meant a new cereal was to be enjoyed for dinner and that new cereal was Alpen Raspberry and Apple Muesli:


Now I don’t want to excite anyone but I genuinely think we might have a contender, Ricicles could have a battle on their hands.  These are mouthwateringly enjoyable, which for a cereal with such a high fibre and oat content is perplexing.  The addition of apple and raspberry to an already classic cereal is perfection.  It is all about texture, each spoonful provides crunchy nuts, soft oats and juicy fruit, they are blissful.  I hope that I am not foolishly approaching this and I shouldn’t get my hopes up but these could be THE cereal of the quest, at the moment I can only ever imagine them having a positive effect on my life, but I thought the same about the weights bench I bought that is now blocking access to the back of my garage and being used to pile tools on top of.  These could be great, time will tell but I think we could have an exciting few days ahead.