So there I was thinking it may have been the Kellogg’s Multi Grain Shapes that was giving me get up and go, these Shredded Wheat Orchard Fruits have taken it up a level, soon after eating my bowl I headed to work and went in to the kitchen which looked like a filthy disgrace, glasses that over 4 days ago had had a smoothie in them had turned lumpy and brown and looked like a dirty protest, the whole place was a right state so I sorted it out and cleaned it up myself, I don’t know what is happening to me recently, I cleaned the garage out on Sunday after my bike ride, I did loads of chores around the house last night before football and now I am tidying at work, I feel like a heavily pregnant woman nesting except I can use a baby as an excuse for the size of my stomach. It is crazy stuff, my wife will be most shocked and impressed with the ‘new me’. Lets see how long it lasts, will Shredded Wheat Orchard Fruits maintain the momentum, I’m sure Mrs B must hope so.
So after a busy day at work and an almost dazzling display on the football pitch tonight I was a hungry young man and wanted something quick so I turned to my next breakfast cereal, Shredded Wheat Orchard Fruits, I decided to have these so soon after Shredded Wheat Summer Fruits so I could give a good comparison (and because these were also on offer). Texture wise they were identical to the Summer Fruits version but taste wise they were different, these have a plum and apple filling, it is also claimed there is cinnamon inside but I did not taste any tonight. It is hard to gauge their initial benefits as pretty much as soon as I finished the bowl I have written this and will soon be asleep. Until tomorrow.
I had predicted that these Kellogg’s Multi Grain Shapes may well have been mind-numbingly boring, and I was correct. I just don’t really see the point of them and can’t fathom who would want to purchase them, they have no flavour, the milk has a stronger taste. They did make me feel like I was eating healthily because I couldn’t taste anything I may as well have been chewing air. I am currently in ‘training’ for a charity bike ride for The Trussell Trust, the same charity I am raising money for doing this quest so I need some energy, in the middle of the week a very kind man who is organising the bike ride came round and set the bike up for me to try and stop my knee being in pain and he did the trick, we went for a short ride and had no pain at all, I briefly thought it may have been the cereal but in reality my newly adapted saddle height and angle may be bigger contributors, I did seem to have quite a big of energy this week including various tasks around the house and on Sunday even got up at 6am and went for a ride which ended up being 44 miles all on my own, whether these spontaneous and self-disciplined actions have been prompted by the Kellogg’s Multi Grain Shapes remains to be seen but it may be no coincidence that I have got better at riding since I started eating them. The ride we are doing is 150 miles in 3 days, the group is a mixture of a couple of experienced riders, and then the rest of us and a tall man with a back injury so it will be a tough few days. The good things didn’t stop at an increased ability to do things, the highlight was on day 246 when I poured out my cereal and out popped my ‘discovery cards’ which were exciting for a small amount of time, each with a different picture on that reveals itself when rubbed or put under water, thank you Kellogg’s, it isn’t the most exciting thing I have ever had out of a cereal packet but it was something at least.
Here are the vital review statistics for Kellogg’s Multi Grain Shapes:
Cereal Cost: £2.79
Real Servings per Box: 8
Cost per Serving: 34.8p
Pros – Seem to give me loads of energy and get up and go and free gift!
Cons – Tasteless.
I always love the excitement of a new cereal, the thrill of something new, the enchantment of mystery and what treasures may lie within. Today brought great excitement:
Look carefully and then imagine my glee when I saw that there was something in the pack, some sort of prize, some sort of treat, something that, had I been 10, I would have reached my filthy 10 year old hands in to the bag and grabbed. I am a lot more mature now and will await the excitement of it simply falling out, much in the same way as we didn’t find out the sex of our baby, again we will just waited until it fell out. I used to love the rare occasions as a child when we had a cereal that had gifts/toys in and it was like winning a prize, we would all argue over who would get it, multiple hands in the cereal, fights breaking out, cereal all over the kitchen floor, complete mayhem, all for ‘Spokey Dokeys’. Unfortunately due to people moaning about possible choking hazards or some other non realistic problem there are no spokey dokeys or toys but inside the clear pouch of delight hidden amongst the cereal there are some ‘discovery cards’. Exciting. Anyway on I went to pour my cereal, no discovery cards fell out today just a whole bowl full of what must be one of the dullest cereals I am likely to meet along the way on this quest. My goodness they have zero flavour, they have the texture of foam packaging beads and the taste. I worked my way through the bowl eating slightly milk wetted foam packaging type cereal, surely the milk left at the end would save the cereal, surely it would be its saving grace? No the milk ended up tasting the same as did when it went in the bowl. It was not good, unless of course I had wanted a glass of milk. Tomorrow I will hunt for some sort of flavour, but I just don’t know if I will find any. The dullness was not all I would take from the Kellogg’s Multi Grain Shapes, they made me very self-concious, those who know me will know that I really don’t care that much about my appearance but when I looked in the mirror this morning I was fed up with my hair, so much so I went to a barbers for the 2nd time this year. I Googled the nearest barbers to my work and went in my lunch break, I was dubious as the barber had no hair which immediately worried me but I persisted, he asked me what I wanted and I said “don’t mind, something like grade 3 or 4 on the back and sides, bit longer on the top maybe?”. He just stared at me then said firmly “3 or 4, which one?”, I said he could choose, he tutted and then cut it, it turns out he was a really nice bloke and didn’t do a bad job. However he did that awkward thing at the end of the haircut when he held a mirror behind my head and looked at me for some sort of reaction, please can I say now once and for all to all barbers/hairdressers….I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT?!? I don’t understand. Why do you hold it there and look at me for a reaction, every time I just sit there, with a confused expression, and say “Yep.” in an enthusiastic way whilst nodding my mirrored head, I don’t know what the question is you are asking me with the mirror but I am saying “Yep” for no reason other than to confirm it is my head in the mirror.
The convenience of cereal as a meal is one of it’s best features and on a day like today was perfect. Monday is always the busiest day of the week and today we were 2 staff down, coupled with that the whole network suddenly went down and I was the only one who might have known how to fix it, luckily I did. Heroic I know. That meant that after a bowl of Krave for breakfast I soon followed it up with another for lunch, it has been a while since I had 3 bowls of cereal in one day, mainly because of having heavily wheat based cereals so I seized the opportunity today and had a 3rd bowl for dinner before football. I was hoping it would give me burst upon burst of energy, which it did for 5 minutes of the game. After that I was walking round clutching my abdomen, I was getting really tight clenching pain in my middle, I have no idea what the pain was but I thought I was going to collapse at one point, that or vomit. When I got home I made something savoury, I attempted a spanish omelette which turned in to a eggy version of an Eton Mess and that seems to have sorted it. I’ll have to see how it progresses overnight.
Sadly the 3rd bowl today and 4th overall for Krave Chocolate Hazelnut saw the end of the box, despite Kellogg’s claims of 12 servings, here is my brief review of Krave Chocolate Hazelnut:
Cereal Cost: £2.79
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 69.7p
Pros – Tastes great, could easily eat a whole box in a day and nearly did.
Cons – Cramping pains and outrageous lies about the amount of servings in the box.
My newest cereal is another version of Kellogg’s Krave cereal. This time Krave Chocolate Hazelnut. Little ricey parcels encasing a joyful dollop of what is essentially Nutella Chocolate spread, something of which I am currently very familiar with because at work we have no glasses for drinking cold drinks from, so we are buying jar and jars of Nutella and cleaning them out after and using them as glasses, they work surprisingly well, as does this cereal. They have given me a real break from wheat and for that I am eternally grateful. The cereal itself is very crunchy and I had mine in milk for quite a while this morning as I was eating them slowly due to a mixture of tiredness and admiration of a rug we bought in Ikea yesterday with big buttons on. If it wouldn’t count as being terribly wasteful I would try smashing some up and speading them on toast but my quest will not allow that. They have so far made me manly, very manly as today I put up a shelf (admittedly to replace the one that fell dramatically in the night a few weeks back obliterating toys, books and a ukulele in my daughters room) the shelf looks good and feels sturdy…..so far. Lets hope all this positivity continues as tomorrow at work I have to start dealing with the French. Ou la la.
The time of year chose this cereal for me, we have recently had some blisteringly hot weather, the sort of weather we lovingly say summers used to be like. The more observant of you will notice this is the 3rd wheat based cereal in a row for me, this was brave, very brave indeed. These though had a certain charm to them, almost an angelicness as I picked them up and put them in my basket. Once I had poured them out and bitten in to them they danced on my tongue and awoke my taste buds, they are literally packed full of fruity squidgy flavour bombs which burst out of the dull wheaty coating and come to life, they are almost too flavourful. They are in a very thin box which is why they only lasted 4 servings, 3 days as I had 2 servings on the first day, the 2nd was simply to get my head around the flavour. Day 3 was my birthday, I turned 28 but was pleased as for the last year in my head I had thought I was already 28, my birthday treat was to go to Ikea, not specifically to buy anything but I just love intelligence, I love ideas and I love clever designs, my daughter loved beds. There is barely a bed in the Southampton branch of Ikea that my daughter has not jumped on and said “nice…and….cosy.” She loved Ikea more than me, she was running around (which considering she has only just learnt to walk is impressive) like a lunatic and of course she loved the Ikea cafe too. The day before my birthday me, my brother and 2 friends went to watch the new Alan Partridge movie; Alpha Papa, it was brilliant, utterly hilarious. I had a great few days with this Shredded Wheat Summer Fruits, it’s going to be a tough act to follow.
Cereal Cost: £2.69
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 67.25p
Pros – Bursting with flavour, gave me plenty of energy for Ikea.
Cons – Very small box, not one that will feed a family for long.
I stood contemplating where to take the quest next, I stared confused as to what cereals I had previously tried and had to Google this website to double check, that pretty much sums up my memory. I played it safe and logical, I chose one I knew 100% I hadn’t had before and logically thought it would be a good time to have it. Having just has Weetabix Crispy Minis with Fruit and Nut I opted for its sibling, Weetabix Crispy Minis with Chocolate, I was not looking forward to these having had Weetabix Chocolate and being far from impressed, however if this quest has taught me one thing it is not to judge a book by its cover, more specifically; not to judge a cereal by its box or by past experiences. Straight away after bowl one I knew these were going to bring me more happiness than the Weetabix Chocolate, I don’t know why but possibly because they were smaller and I knew I wouldn’t have to have 12 servings I could try and focus more on individual servings. Again I had to sprinkle with sugar because the chocolate is not a sweet tasty chocolate, the chocolate is nothing more than a gimmick to entice kids. These 5 days saw one of the most exciting/scary/dangerous/fun days of my life, me, my wife and my daughter were meeting 3 other couples with young children for a picnic at local childrens attraction Honeybrook Farm near Wimborne, a nice relaxing afternoon out with the kids we thought. What was to follow will stick with all of us for many many years to come. We bought a picnic to share, each bringing a different picnic element, we sat in a circle around the edges of 4 carefully squarely placed picnic blankets, ours was donated kindly by the previous owner of my car, so a big thank you to him. As we sat down on the grass surrounded by other families and a few scatterings of chickens, ducks, geese we tucked in, all was peaceful and tranquil, soon however things would change. My brothers new wife revealed she was not a fan of birds, particularly chickens. It was almost as if the chickens heard her and sensed the opportunity. To set the scene there was at least another 10 groups of families/friends enjoying picnics, the sun was shining and aside from the lack of an uncut tiger bread loaf the picnic was perfect. On hearing of possible chicken fear one chicken started hovering around us, occasionally he would look enquiringly at my new sister in law to try and freak her out, it worked, he knew he had a chance to grab some delicous fresh picnic food. From merely pottering around the outside of our group this chicken darted across out picnic blankets quickly swooping for some bread, his blast of pace clearly disorientated him slightly as he landed his claw feet in the wide open ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’ my sister in law screamed, a few of us jumped to our feet to usher this beaked invader away, unfortunately his successful jaunt encouraged his mates over, in the blink of an eye we had at least 5-6 chickens running riot on our lunch, one ended up stepping in the houmous (it was that type of picnic) one hot stepped it out of there carrying a slice of chorizo in his mouth, 1 by one children were running, bursting into tears of terror, their understandable crying attracting more and more varieties of birds to the party, each carrying away various treats although much like humans no one wanted to touch the olives. A duck carried away some Roast Chicken Pringles but sadly didn’t reverse the Pringles and stack them in his mouth to make him look like a duck, to be fair to him he had no need. The picnic couldn’t get any worse, until the wasps joined in, crawling all over things, I pretty much guarded my family really well from them in a manly heroic way, I’m sure my wife would echo that but we’ll never know. It wasn’t the chickens that annoyed me, nor the ducks or geese, the most annoying thing was that throughout the ‘Chicken Trauma of 2013′ some woman was feeding ducks with her son/grandson and clearly didn’t have eyes, she somehow didn’t see numerous screaming children/mums and was throwing bread in the direction of the already well fed chickens, I enjoying throwing the remains of our picnic in her general direction. Later on we went for coffee and some of the wives were excited to see ex-Brookside child Ray Quinn, excited but not excited enough to go and speak to him, just excited enough to question husbands on whether it was really him. The rest of the trip was fun, pony grooming, tractor rides, penned in animals, it was great. I would imagine it was that mornings Weetabix Crispy Mini’s with Chocolate that gave me the courage to get through the ordeal. I was grateful but like so often in the quest after becoming so friendly with the cereal it turned round and got me where is hurts, the toilet. All in all the cereal was a massive improvement on Weetabix Chocolate and I was sad that it was only on the last day that I decided to try them microwaved with milk and sugar because that tasted very good indeed.
Cereal Cost: £2.29
Real Servings per Box: 5
Cost per Serving: 45.8p
Pros – Tastes really good and gave me courage and bravery.
Cons – Chickens could smell it on me.
My next challenge was to heavily involve one of my most daunting ingredients, wheat. Now me and wheat have simply agreed that although we are not best friends we will agree to try to get on. Weetabix Crispy Mini’s are a slight change of angle and size to the normal Weetabix offerings (as the name suggests). These mini versions of Weetabix get poured in to the bowl like a more regular cereal, which to me instantly makes them more friendly and attractive to eat. These had sporadically dotted bits of raisins and nuts. Let me shock you, these are actually really quite nice. They needed a bit of sweetening with a liberal dusting of granulated sugar and on one day caster sugar due to me forgetting to buy sugar when asked. Weetabix Crispy Mini’s came at a very happy time too. They were here for our baby’s 20 week scan, things were good and the baby (currently located inside my wife) was fine. That night I helped to take a youth group to watch the south’s biggest talent show Talent Call. It was a good night out, and bought a pleasant end to the week that had generally been fun and eventful. There were 2 days during the 5 of eating this cereal where I was questioning completing the quest, my insides were quickly becoming my outsides and my stomach cramping was agonising, but I know that this is the rough to the occasional smooths such as Ricicles.
Here are the vital statistics for Weetabix Crispy Minis with Fruit and Nuts:
Cereal Cost: £2.29
Real Servings per Box: 5
Cost per Serving: 45.8p
Pros – A refreshing adaptation of a classic cereal, made more fun by their size. A great fun Thursday.
Cons – Agony.