Some of our youth group know about The Cereal Quest which is lovely and fine. Until they use their knowledge against you. Young people seem to be experts in the art of ‘malicious gifting’. Yesterday I had been given a ‘gift’ from some of the young people, they didn’t want me to miss out on cereal during our weekend away and had bought said ‘gift’ on the ferry (the same ferry that I managed to get on despite telling the lady at the check in area that I had to change the details of the car on the booking and that I was driving “the same car, it just has a different number plate”). They had bought me a box of foolishly named ‘All-Bran’, foolish because it is actually not ‘all’ bran, it is the following: “Wheat bran, sugar, malt flavor, contains 2% or less of salt.” The reason this gift was malicious is because they pretty much knew it would make me ill, but put me in the position of either declining a gift which would be rude or taking on a challenge I knew would make me ill but would give me an element of pride. I did the latter and took on the challenge, I won’t analyse the bird nest type texture or cardboard taste now as one day I will have to eat a whole box before the end of the quest but I will briefly sum up the side effects. Despite the job of a great final bowl of Kellogg’s Chocolate Caramel Krave cereal in the evening when I got home to try and stiffen up my insides (final bowl, just 4 servings after Kellogg’s claimed 12!) I can describe All Bran as the cereal alternative to Colonic Irrigation, I have lost around a third of a stone in a day due to having an incredibly poorly stomach, IBS and All Bran are not, have never been and never will be friends.
The pillows of joy that were Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Caramel ended before they really begun, they don’t have a chance to impress you with consistency due to their ridiculous sized box. Here are their vital statistics:
Cereal Cost: £2.69.
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 67.25p
Pros – Nice and crunchy (when not microwaved), great taste, good amount of dust at the bottom of the bag.
Cons – Huge cost per serving in comparison to other cereals, they leave you wanting more.
This sudden end to the cereal meant I had to panic buy whatever the Spar had that I hadn’t already tried on The Cereal Quest, with nothing exciting standing out and in the knowledge my stomach couldn’t do many more cartwheels I got myself a box of Shredded Wheat. The first thing most people probably realise when opening the box is that the delightful inner packs containing two Shredded Wheat, not normally a fan of compartmentalisation I can cope with it hear as it is sensible not to have too much wheat. 2 was enough for me this morning, a splash of milk and a sprinkling of sugar and I was off, unfortunately the base of the Shredded Wheats were soggy before I could sit down but the tops stood nice and firm and crisp. They really tasted OK, I was expecting a big drop after the tasty flavoursome Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Caramel but the Shredded Wheat was good, tomorrow I will try eau naturel without the sugar.