Today I had to start a cereal that to be brutally honest I was not looking forward to, it was to be the first time I have had Granola. To be specific, Jordans Super Nutty Granola. I had never had granola and was unsure what to expect, Jordans Super Nutty Granola rather impractically comes in a bag, you can see the granola through the front of the bag and it just looks like a bunch of oats and nuts, hardly exciting as I don’t like 2 of the nuts included. I heard once that for a healthy meal you should have as many colours on the plate as possible, by that theory this cereal is unhealthy. But that doesn’t bother me too much. Taste wise I was surprised, they certainly taste nicer that I expected with a good mix of raw cane sugar covered oats and crunchy nuts which despite not liking on their own actually taste OK as part of the mixture. Towards the end of the bowl you find yourself chewing for ages, it gets hard to digest, not as bad as All Bran Golden Crunch but certainly a challenge. I suppose time will tell with these. I was frustrated with the packaging as I was at work eating these so had no idea how I would get it back, so I did what anyone would do, I wrote to Jordan’s:
I am in the process of trying out quite a few cereals box by box. This morning I moved on to your Jordans Super Nutty Granola. This is the first time I have had granola so was my taste buds were bubbling with anticipation. I eat a fair amount of cereal so I take cereal to and from work every day to have for lunch, this is where I have stumbled upon a slight problem. Your super nutty granola comes in a bag, I cut the bag open as the little scissors and dashed line printed on the bag indicated I should. Unfortunately I now have a hole in the corner of the bag which I fear may make transportation home, in what is at times a jumpy Nissan, very tricky. The last thing I want is to have to brake suddenly (perhaps due to a non-thinking Audi/BMW driver) and end up with the floor in front of my passenger seat looking like Blackpool Sands (which despite its name is primarily stones). Have you any tips for safe transportation of your Jordans Super Nutty Granola on a 40 minute car journey? My colleague has suggested gaffer tape but I fear this may be hard to remove or, as it did to a leaking pipe I once had, make the hole bigger upon removal. If you can get back to me before my drive home at 3pm I would be most grateful.
I am also hoping you can enhance my limited knowledge of oat based cereals. I have tried your Jordans Country Crisp with Raspberries and to me this Super Nutty Granola tastes very similar except it has no raspberries. I notice that you have a Country Crisp with Chunky Nuts. Is that any different to this granola? If so what is the difference?
Thank you for your time,
I am awaiting their reply, sellotape got me home in the end.
I woke up earlyish to sit down and watch a farcical Formula 1 qualifying session, I sat down to watch it with my bowl of Jordans Super Nutty Granola. Yesterday the granola was a novelty for me, quite a few of the mouthfuls my tastebuds were acclimatising and getting used to this usual taste. Today however my taste buds were primed and ready and therefore not very excited about breakfast. I got past the first few spoons of Jordans Super Nutty Granola and was fine but you reach a point with this cereal where you are just chewing for ages. I would estimate that my last spoonful took me about 44 seconds. I can eat a whole serving of Weetabix in that time. One positive is that it does give you a bit of energy. We went to a big out of town toy shop today to look for things for my daughters birthday. By the end of our trip my wife was exhausted, because of me. I should never be allowed in a toy shop after eating a cereal which releases slow burn carbohydrates. Holly spent more time telling me we couldn’t get things than telling our daughter. What I found interesting was that at just 22 months old my daughter has attempted (through no encouragement of my own) to put the trolley release key that secures trolleys (to stop people throwing them in rivers) that can only be released with a £1 coin in to the £1 coin slot, like all of us in the end she realised that it is impossible.
As part of my job I buy and sell things online, particularly on eBay and Amazon. I like to think I am a mild mannered and friendly person when it comes to customer service, few things test me and I have got used to people being slightly unfair with feedback or dubious returns. Despite some enquiries from customers being ridiculous, lacking common sense, idiotic and obvious I nearly always, pretty much, most of the time, tend to resist a tempting sarcastic reply and instead opt for a more professional ‘customer is always right approach’. This week however we received a series of emails from a customer who’s real name I can not give for legal reasons so I will have to refer to as Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily. Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily had sent us an email on Tuesday morning at 6.15am saying he had just bought something but needed it sent quickly, having waited 18 minutes and clearly frustrated by the lack of reply he had received from a company that works 9 to 5, he sent another message at 6.33am stating he needed express delivery on his order. By 6.41am a now livid Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily had simply had enough, and having received no reply from our company (who I can confirm were all still very much asleep) he sent another message:
"as no reply to express delivery wish to cancel"
When we arrived in to work we sat down and saw Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily’s messages, my initial reaction was probably like yours, I turned to my colleague and said “his grammar has gone steadily downhill as the morning has progressed, the last message had no greeting, no farewell and seemed to have been sent by the man who talks to me from inside my sat nav.”
I was sensible and resisted pointing out that he sounds like the bloke in my sat nav and instead replied asking him to clarify if we sent it that day whether he still wanted us to send it or not. After 18 minutes I hadn’t had a reply but unlike our friend Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily I manage to hold out on chasing him down angrily. I was happy to wait until he wanted to reply, and he did;
> my email below clearly says to cancel so I hope the bag was not > dispatched -
At this point I did a refund and cancelled his order, realising he now couldn’t leave feedback and desperate to be sarcastic I sent a simple email back stating how I was just trying to help, I pointed out the fact that his 3 emails were sent before I had even eaten my cereal. I then told him that smiling is one of my favourite hobbies and asked him what he does for fun.
He got the idea and actually sent a reply, in fact he sent an apology this morning, which included the best excuse to be completely irrational, rude and harsh with someone I have ever heard, it read like this:
Apologies if I offended you - that was not my intention. I'm having to do everything 1-handed right now as my left arm is in plaster
Brilliant. He must have had great fun telling teachers why he hadn’t done his homework.
With this guy fresh in my mind I wondered whether perhaps I am being unfair and irrational with my dislike of Jordans Super Nutty Granola, maybe after just 2 servings I was being as unfair by not giving it a chance as Mr. S. Urelyanembarrassmenttohisfamily was to me. I went in to this mornings serving with an open mind and tried not to think about my body’s dislike for oats. I managed to enjoy most of the bowl, more than I did yesterday at least. It tasted creamier than yesterday and aside from the constant chewing on what feels like tree bark it was OK. Things were on the up for Jordans Super Nutty Granola. Until mid afternoon where things suddenly went very much down. Down the toilet to be precise. It was a very long, dizzy and painful trip to the bathroom, you know you have been in there too long when your wife is shouting up the stairs “are you OK!? Unlock the door if you think you are going to faint!”. I did feel like I might faint but luckily for me I didn’t. I didhowever lose a lot of weight, a lot of weight. As I left the danger zone of my bathroom I struggled down the stairs, past two stair gates and slouched on the sofa. ”I am not being irrational” I thought.
Jordans cereals confuse me. Everyone I speak to says how yummy Jordans Cereals are and most say they wish they could eat it more but it is too expensive. I wonder whetheractually they think it is nice because it is more expensive than rival cereals in the same way deluded people and drunkards think Burger King is better than McDonalds just because it costs a bit more.
As I tip-toed down the stairs this morning I thought I had one more serving of Jordans Super Nutty Granola, annoyingly I was wrong, there were two, however I was determined to get rid of them by the end of the day. I sat down to eat them and immediately found myself struggling. If you try them you will find that they are about as exciting as carpet. My body was physically struggling, mentally I was staring at the bowl like it was my nemesis. I got through them, I knew there was just one bowl left. I knew I had football tonight and was interested to see how they would affect my game so at work I asked a colleague (who genuinely likes granola) how she eats it and she suggested yoghurt which it also suggests on the pack so when I got home after work I got any yoghurt I had and chucked it on top:
I opened up my daughters Petit Filous and (much to my daughters distress) chucked them on top, it looked like a right old mess but actually tasted better than any of my previous granola servings, it added a nice fruity flavour but truth be told it still wasn’t that nice. When I finish my quest and have free reign of my cereal life again I can assure you these will not feature regularly.
Here are the vital statistics for Jordans Super Nutty Granola:
Cereal Cost: £3.99
Real Servings per Box: 5
Cost per Serving: 79.8p
Pros – Ummmmm…
Cons – Not great fun for the average IBS sufferer, very very very very dull.