As discussed yesterday I had ran out of cereal and as such had to have toast this morning., Marmite on toast to be specific. I had become to the relatively energy donating Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes and found myself this morning really craving some something sweet, a bit of an energy giver so at lunch I popped to Tesco to find myself a new cereal.
A few friends are taking part in trying to complete 40 Random Acts of Kindness during Lent which started today, I scanned the list and saw “1. Get something from a shelf in a supermarket for someone that can’t reach.” perfect I thought, I will be able to tick this off the list today. Unfortunately I was a bit tired and sluggish and maybe not as alert as usually due to the lack of cereal in my day so far. In my head I thought I will just wait near the cereal aisle and wait until I see someone reaching for something and then offer help, that will be kind I thought. After about 5 minutes of pretending to be reading the back of a box of Krave Caramel and Chocolate cereal. I saw an elderly short lady pottering around with another old lady who was considerably frailer. I assumed the elderly lady must be taking the frail lady shopping, so I stood there and watched them for a couple of minutes (which in hindsight might not have been a great idea and possibly scared them), then I saw my chance, the elderly lady was stretching for a jar of thick cut marmalade, I walked towards them (possibly too fast, but I needed to get there quickly), “Good afternoon!” I said. ”Oh ummmm errr hello” she said. ”This might sound a bit strange but our youth group are trying to complete 40 random acts of kindness for lent and I am trying to help someone reach something they can’t. You seem to be struggling to reach that marmalade, can I get it for you?” I enquired. ”Oh right, yes OK if you like” she said. ”Oh can you take a picture of me getting it for you on my iPhone please?” I asked. She was confused by this point but said she would and after a fair bit of confusion that is to be expected when you try to teach an elderly (80+) lady how to use an iPhone she held it up and I posed reaching for the jar of marmalade:
She never claimed to be a photographer but even still this was a poor shot by anyones standards, not helped by her cry of “oh no! I’ve broke it! It’s all gone black” when it was simply the shutter going down which blurred the shot a bit. I asked her kindly to try again but this time do better, maybe include the subject (marmalade) and person (me).
Much better. She was pleased with herself, she had done well. I then asked her to illustrate the struggle she had had with the marmalade in the first place (and this is where problems started), she posed and I took the photo:
Now to you and me this is a perfectly innocent and logical photo of an elderly lady stretching for some thick cut marmalade. Unfortunately for me the elderly lady’s frail friend (who let’s not forget had been watched by me for a good couple of minutes prior to our meeting) thought that at this point I was mugging her friend, she thought I had made her face the marmalade shelves whilst I stole her stuff. I could hear the frail friend muttering but ignored it, I was trying to take, what I am sure you will agree is a good photo. I thanked the elderly lady and we turned to face her frail friend, this is when we/I realised what she was muttering. She had clutched the trolley handle, folded her head right down in to her shallow trolley and was saying “please let us go, please let us go, please let us go!”. This was not good, she was really scared. My heart sank, I didn’t know what to do, her friend tried explaining what in hindsight was a strange situation. I did what I thought was best, shouted “thank you!” and walked at pace away, to hide in the milk aisle far away from them so no one thought I had actually tried mugging them. This is what happens when you do not have cereal for breakfast and your not as aware of the ways of the world.
I bought my cereal and drove back to work to eat. After that episode I was genuinely shaken up and felt terrible that I had scared this lady, so I calmed myself down by trying some new cereal for me.
Kellogg’s Krave (spelt with a ‘K’ in the same way people trying to sell stuff to teenagers in the 90s spelt ‘Krazy’ and ‘Kool’!) Chocolate Caramel flavour. I have had Krave before the normal chocolate flavours and I love them. They are packed in a borrowers size box which unbelievably Kellogg’s claims there to be 12 servings in. I poured out these and poured on the milk. They tasted peculiar, the best way to describe them is a crispy, crunchy Creme Caramel. The little things you can make (if you are Mary Berry) or buy in pots in supermarkets. They were really nice, not as nice as the normal chocolate ones, but still great. A real energy boost and it worked to calm my worries about the old lady incident. They say “taste great hot” on the box, so tomorrow morning we shall see!
As you may have read in the previous entry Kellogg’s claim their are 12 servings in their Krave Chocolate Caramel cereal, 12 x 30g servings. This is what 30g of Krave Chocolate Caramel looks like:
It doesn’t even line the bottom of the bowl. Why and how do Kellogg’s think this is a serving? It is a joke and shouldn’t be allowed.
On the box it says ‘delicious hot’ so this morning I microwaved my serving (a normal human size serving not the above), the cereal itself was yummy, but the texture was like if you microwaved toast after leaving it out for 5 hours. For lunch I had some more as I knew I would need some energy for the weekend ahead with our youth group to the sunny Isle of Wight. It seemed to do the job and has kept me going until now. Tomorrow I will be taking a day off the quest as I know there is bacon in the morning and I had no space to pack Krave, even though it’s box is so tiny!
Some of our youth group know about The Cereal Quest which is lovely and fine. Until they use their knowledge against you. Young people seem to be experts in the art of ‘malicious gifting’. Yesterday I had been given a ‘gift’ from some of the young people, they didn’t want me to miss out on cereal during our weekend away and had bought said ‘gift’ on the ferry (the same ferry that I managed to get on despite telling the lady at the check in area that I had to change the details of the car on the booking and that I was driving “the same car, it just has a different number plate”). They had bought me a box of foolishly named ‘All-Bran’, foolish because it is actually not ‘all’ bran, it is the following: “Wheat bran, sugar, malt flavor, contains 2% or less of salt.” The reason this gift was malicious is because they pretty much knew it would make me ill, but put me in the position of either declining a gift which would be rude or taking on a challenge I knew would make me ill but would give me an element of pride. I did the latter and took on the challenge, I won’t analyse the bird nest type texture or cardboard taste now as one day I will have to eat a whole box before the end of the quest but I will briefly sum up the side effects. Despite the job of a great final bowl of Kellogg’s Chocolate Caramel Krave cereal in the evening when I got home to try and stiffen up my insides (final bowl, just 4 servings after Kellogg’s claimed 12!) I can describe All Bran as the cereal alternative to Colonic Irrigation, I have lost around a third of a stone in a day due to having an incredibly poorly stomach, IBS and All Bran are not, have never been and never will be friends.
The pillows of joy that were Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Caramel ended before they really begun, they don’t have a chance to impress you with consistency due to their ridiculous sized box. Here are their vital statistics:
Cereal Cost: £2.69.
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 67.25p
Pros – Nice and crunchy (when not microwaved), great taste, good amount of dust at the bottom of the bag.
Cons – Huge cost per serving in comparison to other cereals, they leave you wanting more.
This sudden end to the cereal meant I had to panic buy whatever the Spar had that I hadn’t already tried on The Cereal Quest, with nothing exciting standing out and in the knowledge my stomach couldn’t do many more cartwheels I got myself a box of Shredded Wheat. The first thing most people probably realise when opening the box is that the delightful inner packs containing two Shredded Wheat, not normally a fan of compartmentalisation I can cope with it hear as it is sensible not to have too much wheat. 2 was enough for me this morning, a splash of milk and a sprinkling of sugar and I was off, unfortunately the base of the Shredded Wheats were soggy before I could sit down but the tops stood nice and firm and crisp. They really tasted OK, I was expecting a big drop after the tasty flavoursome Kellogg’s Krave Chocolate Caramel but the Shredded Wheat was good, tomorrow I will try eau naturel without the sugar.