Kellogg’s All Bran Golden Crunch

The Cereal Quest: Day 81 – Cheerio Honey Cheerios and Hello All Bran Golden Crunch


So this morning I sat and enjoyed my last bowl of Nestle Honey Cheerios and sat and contemplated what cereal to have next, I have been living the high life with nice treats like Honey Cheerios and Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes lately, I knew that whatever I was to buy today had to be one of the less exciting cereals.  I can say that the past few days of Nestle Honey Cheerios have been a real pleasure, I had even emailed Nestle to thank them, I went out of my way so I was hoping for a nice personal reply, maybe answer some of the questions I had asked, maybe I expected too much because this is the response I got:

“Dear Mr Botto,
Thanks for your email.
We are pleased to learn that you are enjoying one of our cereals and do appreciate the time and effort your have taken to contact us.
As the manufacturer of many popular breakfast cereal products, we are aware of the need to ensure high standards are met and comments from our consumers are a vital aid to maintain these standards.
Consumer feedback is important to us and I will ensure that your comments are forwarded onto our Marketing Team for their reference.
Thank you and Warm Regards,
Consumer Relations”

Disappointing genericness considering the compliments I chucked their way in the email I sent them (see yesterdays post).

Here are the vital statistics for Nestlé ‘Couldn’t Give a Monkeys’ Honey Cheerios:

Cereal Cost:  £2.29
Real Servings per Box: 6
Cost per Serving: 38.1p
Pros – Beautiful taste, stay crunchy, great as a snack.
Cons – Not enough in the box.

The Cereal Quest: Day 82 – Slow and Sluggish


Today I knew I had to be in work early, we had a container to unload.  I got up early, washed and headed downstairs, I felt half asleep and was not excited about tucking in to my All Bran Golden Crunch.  I physically couldn’t even finish the bowl.  It was just horrible, I was too tired and it was rock hard and my teeth were waking up.  On the way to work I was caught in loads of traffic because the road I usually take was shut so I was frustrated and then something else confused me, why on earth in an age where we can put man on the moon, can we not invent a vehicle capable of carrying milk faster than 15mph.  It is unbelievable, I love getting milk delivered by the milkman, its a tradition that I hope keeps going for many more years but getting stuck behind one when already late was so annoying.

The Cereal Quest: Day 83 – All Bran Golden Crunch, Literally Like Eating Cardboard


This morning I knew I had to finish the bowl, no matter how bad these Kellogg’s All Bran Golden Crunch taste.  What I should say about these is that they lull you in to a false sense of security, when you first put a spoon of them in your mouth you might think “mmmmm…..these taste sweet and yummy”, if you could swallow them straight away then that would be fine, but you can’t, instead of swallowing you have to gnaw down on them and chew for what seems like forever until they are a size capable of being swallowed.  The problem is the sweet flavour disappears pretty quickly and then you are left chewing what genuinely tastes like cardboard.  The best way to understand what I mean is to chew some cardboard now, if you are not near some try licking your carpet, it will be a similar taste.  Once you get the cereal down to a swallowable size you can finally swallow it, ordeal over.  Until the next spoonful.  Spoon after spoon of misery.  These are without doubt the worst cereal so far, even worse than Froot Loops.  But I strolled out my door proud this morning, I managed to finish the whole bowl.  I have one bowl left for tomorrow and then they will be gone.  If I get through them I deserve a medal.

The Cereal Quest: Day 84 – Confronting the Attacker

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So this morning I got up, not due to an alarm or hearing cats fighting but because my body was rebelling, I had to get up.  It was the morning after the All Bran Golden Crunch the day before, chaos.  What was worse is that straight after the incident I had to go downstairs and confront the attacker, All Bran Golden Crunch, for one last time.  I poured out my bowl which had lots of miscellaneous yellow bits at the bottom, I was intrigued as to what they were but I couldn’t be bothered to find out, the end was in sight.  I chucked them down as quick as I could and then I put my empty bowl down with pride.  If this had been my first ever cereal I would never want cereal again, luckily I am an experienced pro.

Here are All Bran Golden Crunch’s vital statistics:

Cereal Cost:  £2.69
Real Servings per Box: 4
Cost per Serving: 67.2p
Pros – Not many servings.
Cons – Taste’s horrible, awful texture, very expensive.  Simply disgusting.


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