Moving on from the Jordans Country Crisp with Tangy Raspberries meant that whichever cereal was up next was going to seem better and it was. My next cereal is Goldilocks favourite, Kelloggs Just Right. I started them at lunch, they are bizarre. They are the equivalent to what my wife calls a ‘cupboard tea’, a ‘cupboard breakfast’ if you will. It is like Kelloggs found a whole mis-shaped Corn Flakes, Special K, Oats and raisins and just chucked them together. The flavour from the corn flakes is most prominent but the flavours fight for your attention in your mouth. They are still such an improvement on the Jordans Country Crisp with Raspberries.
As I sit down to write todays post I sit here on my sofa confused, flummoxed, nonplussed and worried. This is because just as I was about to start writing my post my sister in law (one of many) who I have previously had a lot of respect for has come out with a statement that quite frankly defies common sense or rational thinking, she said:
“As much as I’m enjoying your cereal quest Phil, our taste in cereals are polar opposites! Jordan’s country crisp is one of my favourite ever cereals and I enjoyed All Bran golden crunch too!”
Although I appreciate the way her sentence starts with a compliment and I appreciate her use of the word ‘polar’, what she has said is bewildering and worrying. I shall move on, but please pray for her and, if eating All Bran Golden Crunch, her jaw.
Anyway this morning I had another bowl of Kellogg’s Just Right, I had a bit more time to try and establish what on earth it is. If you were to go around the Kellogg’s Cereal factory and sweep up with a giant dustpan and brush then pour the contents of the dustpan in to a cereal box you will have discovered Just Right. However, despite this it does taste good. Again today the overriding flavour through the cacophony of mess was the humble mini corn flake bits. Todays portion also tasted a lot more like muesli than yesterdays.
I headed off to work in my recently repaired family car, as I was driving I saw something that I had never seen before. There was a lady pheasant lying prone in the road, definitely dead (this I have seen many times before and was not the thing I had never seen before). Stood next to her, staring at her possibly crying male pheasant tears was a male pheasant. I have never seen any of the mourning process for pheasants but as I briefly looked and then promptly swerved round this scene (something that sadly the truck behind failed to do) I found myself thinking “you foolish pheasant if only you could see the irony that despite understandably mourning for your friend or mate you are putting yourself in the exact same position that caused her death, you are missing something obvious that is staring you in the face”.
I continued on my journey and thought maybe I would do what the now possibly dead male pheasant would, maybe it was natural, maybe I miss things that are staring me in the face. I thought a bit more. I then realised that Kellogg’s don’t do a muesli. They do Just Right which is a bit like muesli but definitely not muesli, I should let them know. They do so well with cereal but with people trying to get healthy Kellogg’s really are missing a trick.
As I sat down with my second bowl of Just Right today I phoned Kellogg’s, more specifically Sharon at Kellogg’s. I thought she would love to hear about how I had seen a dead bird in the road and it made me think to phone her, but I didn’t want to seem weird so instead I just phoned her and questioned their lack of muesli (and indeed porridge). Sharon was a wise lady and quickly made me feel very small. She revealed to me that they DO! It is called Kellogg’s Country Store, she continued and explained to me that it is not easily available, before she could tell me where I could get them I interrupted (which was rude) “are they only available up North?”. ”No” she said before continuing to tell me that they are only available through online food retailer Ocado. If that is where I have to get them, go there I will, in time, when I have saved up enough money to buy from Ocado.
Finally a useful piece of advice or help for anyone starting up their own business specialising in the early stages of potato plant growth, I have for you a company name that you are more than welcome to use; “Chit Down and Shoot Up”. This is my gift to you today.
I’ve been enjoying Kellogg’s Just Right, they may have a dull name and not have very exciting ingredients but they have not been bad at all. This mornings portion was no exception, another bowl of what I would call corn flake muesli enjoyed quickly to enable a swift exit to work. As I headed to work (no mourning pheasants today) I started to feel my stomach cramping up, I managed to ward off the cramping by ironically singing ‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman in my Nissan Almera Tino. I thought nothing of the cramping and continued on with my day until about 11am when I started feeling quite dizzy and shaky. I sat down for a while but was still shaky. I think my body had started realising that 2 out of every 3 things its eating are cereals. I was scheduled to have another bowl for lunch but decided against it, I don’t feel to good even now, this comes as no surprise. Last time I had an extended amount of time off I was pretty ill and as of today I have 10 days off work.
We were planning a nice day out swimming today, I got up and was feeling a lot better than yesterday but sadly my little girl woke up with a fever so we cancelled the swimming and had a relaxing day inside. I gave her her breakfast and then grabbed mine. One of the almonds pierced my gum, aside from that they were a fairly simple portion of cereal. The fact that they come pre-digested helps you eat them fast. Someone at Kellogg’s has already done the job your teeth would usually be employed for and broken them down into a swallowable size so your job when eating these is simply insert then swallow. Simple.
This morning I poured my last bowl of Kellogg’s Just Right. I was pleased to finish because I just need something more exciting. The portion was again eaten quickly thanks to its pre-digested state. However I may have eaten them too fast for my body. My body revolted against me and I disappeared in to the bathroom for half an hour, half of an actual hour, 30 english minutes which, without the aid of a calculator I can tell you is a lot of seconds. My daughter was ill again today, worse than yesterday so we really didn’t do much but snuggle with her. After one of her naps this afternoon I made an error, an error which I am sure lots of people make but don’t really talk about. My wife was changing my daughter upstairs and I was in the kitchen, the microwave was on and I was running washing up water. I confused the white noise for my wife calling me, I shouted up “pardon!?”, no reply. I must have been hearing things. I then heard her calling again, and also heard her say to get upstairs quick, I panicked as our daughter was ill so legged it upstairs worried about what was wrong. I hurdled the stair gate, left leg first no problem, however my right knee cap smashed and I mean smashed in to the stair gate, it sent the remainder of my body in to the air vertically and I landed both knees first on to the stairs, the stair gate didn’t move, you can say what you want about my D.I.Y skills but that stair gate didn’t even flinch. I was in agony but my daughter was more important so I clambered up the stairs and went in to my daughters room with my knee throbbing (I previously hadn’t realised knees could ‘throb’) I looked at my wife and my daughter, both were confused at my being out of breath, my wincing and my presence. My wife didn’t call me, I had been hearing things. Now laid on the floor on my face wanting to cry but wanting to seem manly to both my wife and my daughter I gathered myself together and headed back downstairs. Slowly. I blame Just Right for my bad hearing, my bad balance and now my bad knee.
Here are the vital statistics for Kellogg’s Just Right:
Cereal Cost: £3.14.
Real Servings per Box: 5
Cost per Serving: 62.8p
Pros – Easy to eat, doesn’t taste too bad and juicy raisins.
Cons – Perhaps to blame for my swollen knee.